The Fun in Fundamentals

I was in sixth or seventh grade when my English teacher told us we had to read Lord of the Flies. Big mistake.

Here’s what twelve-year-old me thought about that book: It sucked. There were a bunch of boys. Most of them didn’t have names because they weren’t important. One boy was good. One boy was bad. One boy was really fat and out of shape. And there was a conch. I had no idea what a conch was and I wasn’t about to look it up. I yawned when I found out the fat boy died.

Gay Chickens Are Gay

There's a Chick-fil-A down the street from my townhome. I haven't eaten their food in over a year.

I Hate New Year's

Most people really like New Year's, and I get that. I really do. I'm just not one of those people.

New Year's is another excuse to party. Wonderful. I do it too. Partying is a great way to seem somewhat normal, so I shower, I get dressed, and I remember to put on deoderant. I drive to where the people are and I get my party on. Sometimes I even smile.