The Cupcake of My Eye

I'm sorry, but Pinkie Pie is the bee's knees!

It's a Barry Allen Reference

"I don't care how many chemicals you drink. This lightning storm ain't gonna make you any faster!"

Electric Love Machine

When I was a wee lad, I promised myself I'd marry a rich MILF and buy myself a BMW. That was the plan.

It would be a four-door cuz that's some classy shit and cougars love class. Or maybe a convertible. Cougars love convertibles. Hell, I wasn't picky.

Loss

I don’t think Grant and I ever had problems before Labor Day weekend. I honestly believe that. We’d met each other at a rally in college, and, though I know it sounds cliché, I fell in love at first sight. We graduated, got engaged, and married in less than two years. I found work in advertising; he started up and invested in several businesses along the East Coast. Work forced him away from home a lot, but I was always happy when we were together. And I’m sure he was too. We had the type of love others envied.

The Point

Dr. Timothy K. Webber was an unmatched genius who had both a knack for bending the rules and, by all standard measurements, a dreadfully large ego. Fortunately, this made Dr. Timothy K. Webber an innovative force in the fields of quantum physics, high energy physics, Applied Compulsion, and condensed matter physics. Unfortunately, this also made him an insufferable jerk.

Who Is John Blake?

The Dark Knight Rises. It's coming. Some lucky people have already seen it, but so far I've been able to avoid the spoilers. I really want to enjoy the twists and turns I want to know if Batman dies.I want to know if Bane breaks his back. I want to know if Anne Hathaway is as bad a choice as I'd expect, or if she'll surprise me.

But there's one big question I'm tempted to find the answer to right now: Who is John Blake?

Hello, Ladies

There are billions of women living in the world today, each different in her own way. And for every one, there is someone in the world who wants only her, needs only her, and can love only her, fully and truly. Any doubt—any notion that one size fits all—is nothing short of absurd.

So "this above all: to thine own self be true."

Share All the Things

I think Google+ should be more than it is.

Right now it’s basically another Facebook with better features. The social grouping is better, the messaging is better, and the video conferencing is better, but each of those can already be found in good enough quality on Facebook. Unfortunately, better messaging isn’t going to get Joe Average to sit down in front of his computer and try something new. Circles are great, but they aren't going to get Joanne Normal to dump her 300+ strong social network.

Esque

Hey, non-nerds, did ya enjoy Marvel's The Avengers? You did? Well, that's great. Us nerds are glad to hear it.

Did you know that one guy co-wrote AND directed it? His name is Joss Whedon.

Geraldo Rivera Doesn't Care About Hoodies!

I know, non-existent reader, I know. I've been gone for a long time. I should leave blogging to the people who actually blog.

And you might be right. I haven't written anything for Jasonocity in a long time.

I would have stayed away.

But then this happened.

The Fun in Fundamentals

I was in sixth or seventh grade when my English teacher told us we had to read Lord of the Flies. Big mistake.

Here’s what twelve-year-old me thought about that book: It sucked. There were a bunch of boys. Most of them didn’t have names because they weren’t important. One boy was good. One boy was bad. One boy was really fat and out of shape. And there was a conch. I had no idea what a conch was and I wasn’t about to look it up. I yawned when I found out the fat boy died.

Gay Chickens Are Gay

There's a Chick-fil-A down the street from my townhome. I haven't eaten their food in over a year.

I Hate New Year's

Most people really like New Year's, and I get that. I really do. I'm just not one of those people.

New Year's is another excuse to party. Wonderful. I do it too. Partying is a great way to seem somewhat normal, so I shower, I get dressed, and I remember to put on deoderant. I drive to where the people are and I get my party on. Sometimes I even smile.

Jobs

There must have been at least a dozen of us standing in the playground. We'd just barely learned how to dress ourselves in the morning, but there we were, pumping our arms, hooting and hollering, and hoping the driver would see.

And he did. He blasted his horn just as his ginormous semi-truck rolled by. Again and again he pulled down on that handle, letting us know he'd seen us and we'd connected. He honked and we hollered and echoed his roar as he disappeared down the street.

Back

So I was standing in my boss’s office, watching over her shoulder as she switched between an email request and the webpage she wanted me to edit. That’s when I turned around and noticed the window behind us. It used to give a clear view between her smaller room and the back area of our entire office, the place where we hold our meetings and eat lunch. However, for privacy’s sake, she’d had something put across its other side (and who can blame her), so now it acts more like a mirror.

And Then I Had Fruit!

So my ex-girlfriend has been on a fitness kick, and that's worked out quite nicely for moi¹. The other day, she wanted company at the gym, which is crazy because she never went when I asked her to accompany me (but whatever). Still, I ain't petty, so I got my bottled water, my cellular telephone, and my speedos. And then I actually got on the treadmill. Seriously. I ran jogged jog/walked a healthy distance. I might even do it again soon.

Alternative Goth Bohemia

There is a kind of girl, a wonderous girl, who is a shining example of what all other girls should be. She is harder, better, faster, stronger. Well, probably not stronger or faster. And calling her harder doesn't really make any sense. But she's better, which is really the point.

Cats 2: Electric Boogaloo

and then...

Looking back, I think Jamie called the vet every day and asked if Kisa's brother was ready to be picked up. Don't get me wrong, she loved having Kisa around. Whenever she wasn't calling the vet, she was feeding Kisa, holding Kisa, petting Kisa, taking pictures of Kisa, and/or talking about Kisa to anyone who would dare listen. Still, I think that knowing Kisa's brother was still in a cage in a sterile vet's office was getting to her. Jamie wanted to bring him home.

Cats

One week ago, my girlfriend, Jamie, told me she desperately wanted to adopt two kittens. It wasn't a random idea, of course. She'd seen them in the vet's office around the corner from our house. They were extremely cute, she told me. They were both housebroken, socialized, and up to date on all their shots.

The New iKAPLOW!

I don't own an iPod.

I don't own an iMac either. I don't own an iLife, iTV, iCar, iBicycle, an iChair, or an iRock. I don't own an iAnything.

There, I said it. Please don't laugh.